"He grows best with you. Wish it didn't involve so much yellin', but there it is.”
Pulling open a drawer, Kita sorts through pieces of fabric.
"And you won't be there. Not in the same way. I think everyone in high school has to deal with that, sooner or later. The fixed things shiftin'. The people you're so used to goin' off on their own lives."
The way Kita's talking is a stark reminder of their difference in maturity levels. Osamu wants to be angry and heated, but in the face of Kita's cool compassion, his logic and grown up way of looking at things, Osamu falters. Feels a bit small and silly, that Kita is being nicer to his own twin than Osamu is capable of right now.
"Is that what you're seein' now that you're a third year? That the end's in sight?"
Kita has the benefit of an outside view. He doesn't take that lightly. So there's no scolding in any of this, no stern advice. The warmth of the kitchen wrapping around them both.
Osamu sighs, shoulders slumping with the weight of his frustration and disappointment. Even though Kita isn't judging him, he's still not taking sides in all this. Still trying to make Osamu into the bigger person who can see how his twin is feeling.
"'Tsumu should be the one you tell all this too. About people bein' allowed to live their own lives."
"No, it ain't," Osamu agrees. "I dunno why I thought he could handle hearin' it in the first place. It was obvious he was gonna react badly." He sighs. "Maybe I was just annoyed hearin' him go on and on about that camp."
Which is not news to Osamu. No use beating the point to death.
"It must have been hard. Your brother thinkin' everything was fine when it wasn't. You've been keepin' it down for weeks? Months? All that pressure buildin' and buildin', and you didn't have your best vent."
Osamu came to Kita looking for sympathy, but ironically now that he's getting it, it's making him uncomfortable. "Well, you know, it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean sure, 'Tsumu can never see what's happenin' right in front of him unless you spell it out. But it's not like I wasn't invited to the camp. I just couldn't go because of my own stupidity."
Shaking his head, Kita tucks the bento boxes away.
"You aren't stupid, and I don't mean the camp. I mean the entire amount of time you didn't talk to Atsumu. Spendin' all that time together like things were normal. That wasn't fair to you or him."
"It's not like he made it easy to tell him I had other stuff on my mind," Osamu counters irritably. "He was the one who always went on and on about volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. Anyone with eyes could see that he thought we'd be in it together for the rest of our lives."
Osamu purses his lips, trying hard not to frown or show just how bothered that always made him. But he's much more transparent than he thinks he is.
"I thought he'd grow out of it eventually but with 'Tsumu I just gotta grow up myself and then drag him along."
"It's not like I was tryin' to keep it a secret," Osamu mumbles, suddenly feeling wary. How could he have expected Atsumu to just get it when even someone as perceptive as Kita didn't know that he had other dreams?
Then again, Kita isn't Osamu's twin. Atsumu's always understood him before, even if he needed a bit of prodding to help him get there. Osamu's just... well, hurt. Hurt that Atsumu isn't willing to put aside his own wants to see what's best for Osamu.
"No. I'm close with my cousins, but I know it isn't the same."
Kita can only watch the Miya's bond from the outside. A fractious, fierce thing as likely to bite itself as anyone else. Yet it works. Somehow...
"You can't drag him."
He settles a hand on Osamu's shoulder. No pulling back on honesty, but at least there's an anchor.
"Atsumu has to decide - Stay a kid or chase after you. Odds are the second. He'll yell and complain and run his legs off to catch up. But waitin' around won't change a thing."
Osamu nods. He isn't even sure that normal sibling relationships would be like his and Atsumu's, not with them being twins. Everyone says it's different with twins, that the bond is stronger. Especially identical ones like they are. They've never been able to read each other's minds or tell when each other are sick the way some people say they should be, but the closeness has been there for their whole lives.
And for just as long, Osamu's been the one tempering Atsumu's relationship with the rest of the world.
"I know you're right," Osamu grunts, turning the tap off and wiping his hands dry as he finishes up with the dishes, finally. "But I'm tired of luggin' him around after me. He can't rely on me forever. Not anymore."
Watching out for others is a huge responsibility. It requires planning and structure, carefully honed. Kita should know. He walked into his situation with eyes wide open. Seems Osamu didn't have such a luxury. No wonder he's tired. Without choosing, it burns you out. Hard.
"That's true."
With a pat, Kita pulls his hand back.
"Good job on the dishes. And dinner really was amazin'. Thank you."
It's almost funny, how all Osamu needs to hear is a simple "That's true" from Kita before some of the tension unknots from his shoulders. It's not enough to completely undo all of his frustration with his twin, but it's pletny, and it's more than enough for now.
"You're welcome. Thanks for havin' me over and lettin' me vent, Kita-san." He cracks a small smile. "You know, it's kinda hard to believe you live in a normal house like everyone else."
Osamu brings a hand to his chin as he considers this. "Where do they keep robots when they're not being used? Laboratories? Or you could live in a museum, or some kinda time capsule house from the 1800s."
"It's not that you're a time-traveler, just that you kinda act like someone from the past. Like upstandin', moral, super polite. It's really charmin', I mean, it's not bad. But sometimes it just feels like.... super human, you know?"
Osamu looks a bit wary. "I'm not too sure I'm explainin' this right. You should ask Aran."
Even Kita can't keep the tone cold enough for a believable scolding. It's just so ridiculous. He's no one but himself. Does that really make such an impression?
"He'd be able to explain it better," Osamu insists. "You're just.... different. Not in a bad way!!" He adds quickly, fearing he might have insulted Kita. "Not in a bad way at all. It's like you're just a good person, way better than most people. And you aren't even tryin' to be. You just are."
Kita's not reaching for better. That sort of battle is for other people. He only wants to set the world in order. Make things feel right. A concept baffling everyone he knows, aside from his grandmother.
Oh well.
Taking mercy, Kita smiles.
"Don't worry. I'll take it as a compliment. Thanks."
"Hadn't thought of that. Guess Aran's the only one who comes over.""
It's true. This is the first hangout in a non-volleyball capacity. Kita can't say he minds. Even with this disruption to the Sunday schedule, the management of yet another crisis.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-12-28 12:33 pm (UTC)Pulling open a drawer, Kita sorts through pieces of fabric.
"And you won't be there. Not in the same way. I think everyone in high school has to deal with that, sooner or later. The fixed things shiftin'. The people you're so used to goin' off on their own lives."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-28 09:01 pm (UTC)"Is that what you're seein' now that you're a third year? That the end's in sight?"
no subject
Date: 2022-12-29 12:03 am (UTC)Kita has the benefit of an outside view. He doesn't take that lightly. So there's no scolding in any of this, no stern advice. The warmth of the kitchen wrapping around them both.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-29 01:23 am (UTC)"'Tsumu should be the one you tell all this too. About people bein' allowed to live their own lives."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-29 01:47 am (UTC)Kita looks up from the fabric, which he's tying around the boxes. Meeting Osamu's eyes.
"Right now? I just want to talk to you. I'm not sayin' all this because you shouldn't be hurt, or angry. You are. That ain't gettin' fixed tonight."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-29 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-29 11:39 am (UTC)Which is not news to Osamu. No use beating the point to death.
"It must have been hard. Your brother thinkin' everything was fine when it wasn't. You've been keepin' it down for weeks? Months? All that pressure buildin' and buildin', and you didn't have your best vent."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 12:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 12:08 pm (UTC)Shaking his head, Kita tucks the bento boxes away.
"You aren't stupid, and I don't mean the camp. I mean the entire amount of time you didn't talk to Atsumu. Spendin' all that time together like things were normal. That wasn't fair to you or him."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 12:03 am (UTC)Osamu purses his lips, trying hard not to frown or show just how bothered that always made him. But he's much more transparent than he thinks he is.
"I thought he'd grow out of it eventually but with 'Tsumu I just gotta grow up myself and then drag him along."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 12:21 am (UTC)"Obviously he did. I thought you both did, until you brought me the meat bun."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 12:30 am (UTC)Then again, Kita isn't Osamu's twin. Atsumu's always understood him before, even if he needed a bit of prodding to help him get there. Osamu's just... well, hurt. Hurt that Atsumu isn't willing to put aside his own wants to see what's best for Osamu.
"Do you have any siblings, Kita-san?"
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 12:46 am (UTC)Kita can only watch the Miya's bond from the outside. A fractious, fierce thing as likely to bite itself as anyone else. Yet it works. Somehow...
"You can't drag him."
He settles a hand on Osamu's shoulder. No pulling back on honesty, but at least there's an anchor.
"Atsumu has to decide - Stay a kid or chase after you. Odds are the second. He'll yell and complain and run his legs off to catch up. But waitin' around won't change a thing."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 01:48 am (UTC)And for just as long, Osamu's been the one tempering Atsumu's relationship with the rest of the world.
"I know you're right," Osamu grunts, turning the tap off and wiping his hands dry as he finishes up with the dishes, finally. "But I'm tired of luggin' him around after me. He can't rely on me forever. Not anymore."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 02:10 am (UTC)"That's true."
With a pat, Kita pulls his hand back.
"Good job on the dishes. And dinner really was amazin'. Thank you."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 02:54 am (UTC)"You're welcome. Thanks for havin' me over and lettin' me vent, Kita-san." He cracks a small smile. "You know, it's kinda hard to believe you live in a normal house like everyone else."
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 04:01 pm (UTC)"Really?"
Kita huffs a laugh.
"Where else would I live?"
no subject
Date: 2022-12-31 11:52 pm (UTC)Is he even joking? Not really.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-01 12:08 am (UTC)"I mean, which is it? Robot or time-traveler? They're completely different genres."
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Date: 2023-01-01 12:15 am (UTC)Osamu looks a bit wary. "I'm not too sure I'm explainin' this right. You should ask Aran."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-01 12:25 am (UTC)Even Kita can't keep the tone cold enough for a believable scolding. It's just so ridiculous. He's no one but himself. Does that really make such an impression?
"Well, glad to hear it's charmin'?"
no subject
Date: 2023-01-01 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-01-02 12:56 am (UTC)Oh well.
Taking mercy, Kita smiles.
"Don't worry. I'll take it as a compliment. Thanks."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-02 10:12 pm (UTC)"Good. Uh, you're welcome. I just sort of meant that it's nice to see you at home since it's not school. Away from the team. S'nice."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-03 12:50 am (UTC)It's true. This is the first hangout in a non-volleyball capacity. Kita can't say he minds. Even with this disruption to the Sunday schedule, the management of yet another crisis.
Osamu's good company.
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