Osamu is impressed but not at all surprised by the spread of cleaning tools next to Kita's sink - it's to be expected from their captain, after all. He grabs the biggest pair of gloves and one of the brushes, and then gets to work on the plates, bowls, spoons, and chopsticks.
He's settled into the groove of scrubbing when Kita comes in and reminds him of the elephant in the room. Osamu sighs.
"Not much to tell. Told him I wasn't gonna keep playing volleyball after high school, and he acted like I killed his firstborn or something. Went off talking about our dream and how I was giving it up and betraying everything we'd been working for. Had to tell him off for being selfish and pushin' his dream onto me. Reminded him we're not an 'us'."
He rustles through a cabinet. Pulling out plastic containers and lining them up by size. Each with a matched lid.
The next words are thoughtful.
"I wonder... Is bein' selfish such a bad thing? Really, all it means is puttin' yourself first. Reachin' for the best version of your life. No matter what anyone says."
Osamu's still frowning, his body angry as he's reliving the fight with his twin.
"I don't care if Tsumu wants to be selfish with his life; playin' sports is pretty selfish in general, I think. Especially when you're an adult and you wanna go pro. But he doesn't get to be selfish with my life too. Thinkin' of me as just a part of him, instead of as my own person."
"Maybe it's more scared than selfish. The rules just changed to the game he thought he was playin'. Can't outrun it, hit it, jump over it..."
Methodically he divides the leftovers. Filling each container to just under the lid, so the contents won't spill out. Each presses shut with a satisfying snap.
"Scared?" Osamu repeats dubiously, turning to Kita with his eyebrows furrowed. "Scared of what? He's a shoo in for a pro career already, and he ain't even done with high school yet. They'd be stupid not to recruit him to their college teams or whatever. Even with his grades bein' what they are."
"He grows best with you. Wish it didn't involve so much yellin', but there it is.”
Pulling open a drawer, Kita sorts through pieces of fabric.
"And you won't be there. Not in the same way. I think everyone in high school has to deal with that, sooner or later. The fixed things shiftin'. The people you're so used to goin' off on their own lives."
The way Kita's talking is a stark reminder of their difference in maturity levels. Osamu wants to be angry and heated, but in the face of Kita's cool compassion, his logic and grown up way of looking at things, Osamu falters. Feels a bit small and silly, that Kita is being nicer to his own twin than Osamu is capable of right now.
"Is that what you're seein' now that you're a third year? That the end's in sight?"
Kita has the benefit of an outside view. He doesn't take that lightly. So there's no scolding in any of this, no stern advice. The warmth of the kitchen wrapping around them both.
Osamu sighs, shoulders slumping with the weight of his frustration and disappointment. Even though Kita isn't judging him, he's still not taking sides in all this. Still trying to make Osamu into the bigger person who can see how his twin is feeling.
"'Tsumu should be the one you tell all this too. About people bein' allowed to live their own lives."
"No, it ain't," Osamu agrees. "I dunno why I thought he could handle hearin' it in the first place. It was obvious he was gonna react badly." He sighs. "Maybe I was just annoyed hearin' him go on and on about that camp."
Which is not news to Osamu. No use beating the point to death.
"It must have been hard. Your brother thinkin' everything was fine when it wasn't. You've been keepin' it down for weeks? Months? All that pressure buildin' and buildin', and you didn't have your best vent."
Osamu came to Kita looking for sympathy, but ironically now that he's getting it, it's making him uncomfortable. "Well, you know, it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean sure, 'Tsumu can never see what's happenin' right in front of him unless you spell it out. But it's not like I wasn't invited to the camp. I just couldn't go because of my own stupidity."
Shaking his head, Kita tucks the bento boxes away.
"You aren't stupid, and I don't mean the camp. I mean the entire amount of time you didn't talk to Atsumu. Spendin' all that time together like things were normal. That wasn't fair to you or him."
"It's not like he made it easy to tell him I had other stuff on my mind," Osamu counters irritably. "He was the one who always went on and on about volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. Anyone with eyes could see that he thought we'd be in it together for the rest of our lives."
Osamu purses his lips, trying hard not to frown or show just how bothered that always made him. But he's much more transparent than he thinks he is.
"I thought he'd grow out of it eventually but with 'Tsumu I just gotta grow up myself and then drag him along."
"It's not like I was tryin' to keep it a secret," Osamu mumbles, suddenly feeling wary. How could he have expected Atsumu to just get it when even someone as perceptive as Kita didn't know that he had other dreams?
Then again, Kita isn't Osamu's twin. Atsumu's always understood him before, even if he needed a bit of prodding to help him get there. Osamu's just... well, hurt. Hurt that Atsumu isn't willing to put aside his own wants to see what's best for Osamu.
"No. I'm close with my cousins, but I know it isn't the same."
Kita can only watch the Miya's bond from the outside. A fractious, fierce thing as likely to bite itself as anyone else. Yet it works. Somehow...
"You can't drag him."
He settles a hand on Osamu's shoulder. No pulling back on honesty, but at least there's an anchor.
"Atsumu has to decide - Stay a kid or chase after you. Odds are the second. He'll yell and complain and run his legs off to catch up. But waitin' around won't change a thing."
Osamu nods. He isn't even sure that normal sibling relationships would be like his and Atsumu's, not with them being twins. Everyone says it's different with twins, that the bond is stronger. Especially identical ones like they are. They've never been able to read each other's minds or tell when each other are sick the way some people say they should be, but the closeness has been there for their whole lives.
And for just as long, Osamu's been the one tempering Atsumu's relationship with the rest of the world.
"I know you're right," Osamu grunts, turning the tap off and wiping his hands dry as he finishes up with the dishes, finally. "But I'm tired of luggin' him around after me. He can't rely on me forever. Not anymore."
Watching out for others is a huge responsibility. It requires planning and structure, carefully honed. Kita should know. He walked into his situation with eyes wide open. Seems Osamu didn't have such a luxury. No wonder he's tired. Without choosing, it burns you out. Hard.
"That's true."
With a pat, Kita pulls his hand back.
"Good job on the dishes. And dinner really was amazin'. Thank you."
It's almost funny, how all Osamu needs to hear is a simple "That's true" from Kita before some of the tension unknots from his shoulders. It's not enough to completely undo all of his frustration with his twin, but it's pletny, and it's more than enough for now.
"You're welcome. Thanks for havin' me over and lettin' me vent, Kita-san." He cracks a small smile. "You know, it's kinda hard to believe you live in a normal house like everyone else."
Osamu brings a hand to his chin as he considers this. "Where do they keep robots when they're not being used? Laboratories? Or you could live in a museum, or some kinda time capsule house from the 1800s."
"It's not that you're a time-traveler, just that you kinda act like someone from the past. Like upstandin', moral, super polite. It's really charmin', I mean, it's not bad. But sometimes it just feels like.... super human, you know?"
Osamu looks a bit wary. "I'm not too sure I'm explainin' this right. You should ask Aran."
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He's settled into the groove of scrubbing when Kita comes in and reminds him of the elephant in the room. Osamu sighs.
"Not much to tell. Told him I wasn't gonna keep playing volleyball after high school, and he acted like I killed his firstborn or something. Went off talking about our dream and how I was giving it up and betraying everything we'd been working for. Had to tell him off for being selfish and pushin' his dream onto me. Reminded him we're not an 'us'."
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He rustles through a cabinet. Pulling out plastic containers and lining them up by size. Each with a matched lid.
The next words are thoughtful.
"I wonder... Is bein' selfish such a bad thing? Really, all it means is puttin' yourself first. Reachin' for the best version of your life. No matter what anyone says."
Like Osamu's doing now.
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"I don't care if Tsumu wants to be selfish with his life; playin' sports is pretty selfish in general, I think. Especially when you're an adult and you wanna go pro. But he doesn't get to be selfish with my life too. Thinkin' of me as just a part of him, instead of as my own person."
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"Maybe it's more scared than selfish. The rules just changed to the game he thought he was playin'. Can't outrun it, hit it, jump over it..."
Methodically he divides the leftovers. Filling each container to just under the lid, so the contents won't spill out. Each presses shut with a satisfying snap.
"Doesn't mean he should take it out on you."
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Pulling open a drawer, Kita sorts through pieces of fabric.
"And you won't be there. Not in the same way. I think everyone in high school has to deal with that, sooner or later. The fixed things shiftin'. The people you're so used to goin' off on their own lives."
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"Is that what you're seein' now that you're a third year? That the end's in sight?"
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Kita has the benefit of an outside view. He doesn't take that lightly. So there's no scolding in any of this, no stern advice. The warmth of the kitchen wrapping around them both.
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"'Tsumu should be the one you tell all this too. About people bein' allowed to live their own lives."
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Kita looks up from the fabric, which he's tying around the boxes. Meeting Osamu's eyes.
"Right now? I just want to talk to you. I'm not sayin' all this because you shouldn't be hurt, or angry. You are. That ain't gettin' fixed tonight."
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Which is not news to Osamu. No use beating the point to death.
"It must have been hard. Your brother thinkin' everything was fine when it wasn't. You've been keepin' it down for weeks? Months? All that pressure buildin' and buildin', and you didn't have your best vent."
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Shaking his head, Kita tucks the bento boxes away.
"You aren't stupid, and I don't mean the camp. I mean the entire amount of time you didn't talk to Atsumu. Spendin' all that time together like things were normal. That wasn't fair to you or him."
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Osamu purses his lips, trying hard not to frown or show just how bothered that always made him. But he's much more transparent than he thinks he is.
"I thought he'd grow out of it eventually but with 'Tsumu I just gotta grow up myself and then drag him along."
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"Obviously he did. I thought you both did, until you brought me the meat bun."
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Then again, Kita isn't Osamu's twin. Atsumu's always understood him before, even if he needed a bit of prodding to help him get there. Osamu's just... well, hurt. Hurt that Atsumu isn't willing to put aside his own wants to see what's best for Osamu.
"Do you have any siblings, Kita-san?"
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Kita can only watch the Miya's bond from the outside. A fractious, fierce thing as likely to bite itself as anyone else. Yet it works. Somehow...
"You can't drag him."
He settles a hand on Osamu's shoulder. No pulling back on honesty, but at least there's an anchor.
"Atsumu has to decide - Stay a kid or chase after you. Odds are the second. He'll yell and complain and run his legs off to catch up. But waitin' around won't change a thing."
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And for just as long, Osamu's been the one tempering Atsumu's relationship with the rest of the world.
"I know you're right," Osamu grunts, turning the tap off and wiping his hands dry as he finishes up with the dishes, finally. "But I'm tired of luggin' him around after me. He can't rely on me forever. Not anymore."
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"That's true."
With a pat, Kita pulls his hand back.
"Good job on the dishes. And dinner really was amazin'. Thank you."
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"You're welcome. Thanks for havin' me over and lettin' me vent, Kita-san." He cracks a small smile. "You know, it's kinda hard to believe you live in a normal house like everyone else."
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"Really?"
Kita huffs a laugh.
"Where else would I live?"
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Is he even joking? Not really.
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"I mean, which is it? Robot or time-traveler? They're completely different genres."
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Osamu looks a bit wary. "I'm not too sure I'm explainin' this right. You should ask Aran."
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