[just like that, the moment breaks, though atsumu's left smiling anyway, without really knowing why.]
Heh, that's what mom and Samu do, too. Cleaning while they cook.
[there's a pause as atsumu realizes he's brought up a topic he was trying so hard to avoid, then shrugs and goes about washing up. oh well. it's not like he can take it back now that he's already said it.]
[it's quiet, aside from the noncommittal hum atsumu gives in reply. he looks deep in thought as he dries off everything they used for prep.]
Do you think... [there's hesitation in his voice, unlike what kita's ever heard, most likely.] Samu's been off during practices at all, cap?
[it says plenty, that atsumu's asking for kita's opinion, when he's always believed he and his twin knew each other best. but kita's observant, and maybe he's seen something that atsumu's missed.]
Putting this after Junior Training Camp, before Nationals
[Kita puts the equipment back in place. Reviewing the issue. Today's game was fine. The Miyas performing at the expected level. You wouldn't know Osamu was sidelined. You wouldn't know Atsumu was away for a week.
Except Atsumu was away for a week.
He and Osamu can't have played separately since... well. Probably since they started volleyball. Never mind volleyball, though. When was the last time they were even apart?
A week doesn't seem like that much. Unless it is.]
It's probably nothing. [it's definitely not "nothing" if they're fighting over it and bothering atsumu enough to seek kita's opinion.]
He's still playin' at a high level, but sometimes...it's like he isn't motivated the way he used to be. [with a sigh, he leans against the counter as they wait for the rice and vegetables to cook, finding he has nothing to occupy his hands with now.] It didn't even bother him much when I got chosen for the camp and he didn't.
[Point established, Kita listens carefully. Then thinks. The quiet stretching.]
...I'm an only child, so I don't have any first-hand experience. But I suppose it makes sense. That siblings grow into their own people. With different interests.
[together, he doesn't have to say. it should be a good thing, shouldn't it? the two of them taking different paths. but it just makes atsumu oddly angry instead.
he scowls, expression turning dark to hide the sting of such a thought.]
Tch. He's probably just giving up because he can't keep up with me anymore. Coward. Who needs him anyway?
[the strangled sound he makes at that isn't subtle or quiet, and it turns into something resembling a laugh by the end of it.]
You sure know how to make a guy sweat, cap. [atsumu twists one of the cloth napkins between his fingers, exhaling noisily.] Fine... I don't think he's givin' up. It's more like he doesn't care as much anymore.
[he's sulking as he relinquishes the napkin to kita, even if the smile he's given is a bit distracting - wait, no, they're talking about his stupid twin right now. finding that he has nothing to occupy his hands with again, he gives in to crossing his arms over his chest defensively.]
He does care about other things. Mostly...food. Cooking. He's been doing a lot of that lately.
[atsumu's face works into an impressive scowl before he bursts out, like he can't hold it in any longer: ] Does he not want to play professionally anymore? I thought that's what we both wanted!
[A good question. Unfortunately, only Osamu knows.
Kita checks the clock. Then pulls out a basket and kitchen shears, giving them both to his Setter. Atsumu's better with his hands occupied.]
Come on. I'd like some herbs for tea.
[He leads the way to the back porch. Where a row of pots nods on the railing, catching the last rays of sun. Kita leans over the mint plant. Checking for spots, any dead leaves.]
If that's what Osamu decides - What does it change for you?
['everything' he wants to say. how uncool would it be to admit everything feels so much more uncertain if osamu's not going to be there with him? it's not that atsumu doesn't have faith in his own skills, far from it; it's just that... osamu's always been there to push him when no one else could keep up. what does it mean for him when he no longer has that?]
Dunno, cap. You tell me. [he sounds more tired than he should at what seems to be a simple question. all the same, he trails after kita obediently, apparently so drained from the conversation that he doesn't even argue being drafted for more work like this.
mouth slightly pursed, atsumu hovers over the mint plant, shears in one hand.] What part am I supposed t' cut off?
[Once you admit uncertainty, it begins to lose its power.
You can move forward.
Kita sighs. Not sure if he has the right thing to say. But it wouldn't be good to leave Atsumu dragging with no encouragement. Not after games, and not with this.]
I can tell you it's all right not to know.
If that helps.
Cut off the sprigs there, at the base. From the top and sides. Three or four is enough.
[the room's filled with the quiet snip snip of the shears as atsumu does exactly that, clipping the mint plant with an air of concentration.]
I don't like it when I don't know things like this, Kita-san.
[it's not that he's afraid of the uncertain, the unpredictable. those elements are exactly what make volleyball so fun and challenging for him, when other people rise above his expectations and surprise him. no, it's when what should be predictable does the opposite that it bothers him. osamu just happens to be one of those things.
with a resigned sigh, atsumu straightens up, the sprigs of mint in his palm as he offers them to kita.]
[Gently, the leaves are washed. Patted dry. Absently, Kita hums to himself. Absorbed in the familiar process. It's comfortable. Having someone to talk to, instead of the empty kitchen.]
's not your fault. [it's mumbled, atsumu trailing after kita again.
for someone who's always grown up with a sibling around, the quiet of the house doesn't exactly weigh on him, but it's unusual. atsumu tilts his head, listening to the soft hum of kita's voice as he gives a little hum of thought himself.]
Yeah? [there's a sliver of a smile as atsumu reaches for the tool.] Even if I'm intrudin' on your peace?
[it's growing increasingly easier for atsumu to simply stop holding his tongue around kita, giving into the teasing when the urge arises. like now. if he were to think about it, atsumu wouldn't be too surprised by the calming effect kita seems to have on him off the court.]
Can't remember the last time I helped out in the kitchen like this.
[the smile turns into a tiny frown of concentration, atsumu fumbling with the spatula as he turns the vegetables over.]
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Heh, that's what mom and Samu do, too. Cleaning while they cook.
[there's a pause as atsumu realizes he's brought up a topic he was trying so hard to avoid, then shrugs and goes about washing up. oh well. it's not like he can take it back now that he's already said it.]
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[Kita neither encourages nor shuts down the topic. Just hands over a clean washcloth.
How Atsumu proceeds?
That's up to him.]
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Do you think... [there's hesitation in his voice, unlike what kita's ever heard, most likely.] Samu's been off during practices at all, cap?
[it says plenty, that atsumu's asking for kita's opinion, when he's always believed he and his twin knew each other best. but kita's observant, and maybe he's seen something that atsumu's missed.]
Putting this after Junior Training Camp, before Nationals
Yes.
But that's normal, after an injury.
[Kita puts the equipment back in place. Reviewing the issue. Today's game was fine. The Miyas performing at the expected level. You wouldn't know Osamu was sidelined. You wouldn't know Atsumu was away for a week.
Except Atsumu was away for a week.
He and Osamu can't have played separately since... well. Probably since they started volleyball. Never mind volleyball, though. When was the last time they were even apart?
A week doesn't seem like that much. Unless it is.]
What are you seeing?
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He's still playin' at a high level, but sometimes...it's like he isn't motivated the way he used to be. [with a sigh, he leans against the counter as they wait for the rice and vegetables to cook, finding he has nothing to occupy his hands with now.] It didn't even bother him much when I got chosen for the camp and he didn't.
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[Point established, Kita listens carefully. Then thinks. The quiet stretching.]
...I'm an only child, so I don't have any first-hand experience. But I suppose it makes sense. That siblings grow into their own people. With different interests.
Even twins.
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[together, he doesn't have to say. it should be a good thing, shouldn't it? the two of them taking different paths. but it just makes atsumu oddly angry instead.
he scowls, expression turning dark to hide the sting of such a thought.]
Tch. He's probably just giving up because he can't keep up with me anymore. Coward. Who needs him anyway?
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[The response is even. Not cold, the way Kita can get sometimes.
But it's in that line.
A straight cut through the bluster.]
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he stares down at his feet instead, the sullen silence an answer of its own.]
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So Kita lets it alone.
He begins pulling out plates. Chopsticks. Actual cloth napkins.]
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there's a conflicted look on his face as he steps closer, helping kita with the utensils, the plates.]
Why aren't you saying anything?
[it's finally mumbled with a side glance.]
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[And will continue to do so.
Space can be both a gift and the most massive of pressures.]
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You sure know how to make a guy sweat, cap. [atsumu twists one of the cloth napkins between his fingers, exhaling noisily.] Fine... I don't think he's givin' up. It's more like he doesn't care as much anymore.
[not as much as atsumu does, at least.]
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Maybe he doesn't.
And I would be concerned, if it seemed like Osamu didn't care about anything at all. But I don't think that's the case.
[Kita has thoughts on the matter. It was just important to hear Atsumu's first.]
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wait, no, they're talking about his stupid twin right now. finding that he has nothing to occupy his hands with again, he gives in to crossing his arms over his chest defensively.]
He does care about other things. Mostly...food. Cooking. He's been doing a lot of that lately.
[atsumu's face works into an impressive scowl before he bursts out, like he can't hold it in any longer: ] Does he not want to play professionally anymore? I thought that's what we both wanted!
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[A good question. Unfortunately, only Osamu knows.
Kita checks the clock. Then pulls out a basket and kitchen shears, giving them both to his Setter. Atsumu's better with his hands occupied.]
Come on. I'd like some herbs for tea.
[He leads the way to the back porch. Where a row of pots nods on the railing, catching the last rays of sun. Kita leans over the mint plant. Checking for spots, any dead leaves.]
If that's what Osamu decides - What does it change for you?
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Dunno, cap. You tell me. [he sounds more tired than he should at what seems to be a simple question. all the same, he trails after kita obediently, apparently so drained from the conversation that he doesn't even argue being drafted for more work like this.
mouth slightly pursed, atsumu hovers over the mint plant, shears in one hand.] What part am I supposed t' cut off?
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You can move forward.
Kita sighs. Not sure if he has the right thing to say. But it wouldn't be good to leave Atsumu dragging with no encouragement. Not after games, and not with this.]
I can tell you it's all right not to know.
If that helps.
Cut off the sprigs there, at the base. From the top and sides. Three or four is enough.
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I don't like it when I don't know things like this, Kita-san.
[it's not that he's afraid of the uncertain, the unpredictable. those elements are exactly what make volleyball so fun and challenging for him, when other people rise above his expectations and surprise him. no, it's when what should be predictable does the opposite that it bothers him. osamu just happens to be one of those things.
with a resigned sigh, atsumu straightens up, the sprigs of mint in his palm as he offers them to kita.]
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Thanks.
[Gently, the leaves are washed. Patted dry. Absently, Kita hums to himself. Absorbed in the familiar process. It's comfortable. Having someone to talk to, instead of the empty kitchen.]
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for someone who's always grown up with a sibling around, the quiet of the house doesn't exactly weigh on him, but it's unusual. atsumu tilts his head, listening to the soft hum of kita's voice as he gives a little hum of thought himself.]
Isn't it strange, coming back to an empty house?
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[Kita enjoys the companionship, but would do just as well on his own. It would simply be different experiences. Neither better nor worse.
Although...]
Is it strange for you?
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Even if our parents aren't home, Samu and I almost always walk home together. Can't get rid of him.
[until now, apparently.]
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[Probably also leads to more unpacking. About why it would bother Atsumu this much. Moving on without Osamu.]
Well. It's nice having someone here, too.
Could you flip the vegetables? The spatula's on the wall there.
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[it's growing increasingly easier for atsumu to simply stop holding his tongue around kita, giving into the teasing when the urge arises. like now. if he were to think about it, atsumu wouldn't be too surprised by the calming effect kita seems to have on him off the court.]
Can't remember the last time I helped out in the kitchen like this.
[the smile turns into a tiny frown of concentration, atsumu fumbling with the spatula as he turns the vegetables over.]
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Wow so DW NEVER showed me this notif?!